the tensions are rising

To be honest, nothing new has recently happened. However, I have the feeling that it will change soon. I will either meet someone really cool or I will have a great sex.

I'm still in touch with this Hungarian - the one who speaks my language. He's so cool. I have some sex friends - no meetings with them yet though! I'm especially looking forward to meeting one of them - a guy with whom I had fabulous sex twice in summer before I went for the conference where I met my English ex. The fucking was really great! And he's so cute!

On Sunday, I may go to the beach with guy from the neighbouring city. He has boyfriend whom he loves so we can be friends and nothing more. Actually, I don't expect more - he's cool but friendship will do.

There is also another player in the game and it seems quite promising. I actually met him once through another guy whom I met on line. We were both on the same party and he brought his friend (the one who is this new player). We didn't talk at that time but he got my contact from his friend and then wrote me a message a few days ago. He's so funny, intelligent and likes teasing with me (omg, I wrote the same stuff about my English ex...). We'll probably meet soon. I believe there is potential to develop this relation farther but I don't want to think about it now. We'll see. In such cases, one shouldn't do too much on purpose. Just be yourself and everything should happen on their own!

When writing this I noticed something interesting. I clearly divide the types of the people I hang out with. There are those with whom I have sex (1). Those who are my friends (2) and THE ONE (3) who can be or who is my boyfriend (for now, I don't have THIS ONE but there are some people who I think are quite possible to be HIM - I don't know them well at all but at least I feel they're cool). When I have boyfriend usually, my sex friends are "cancelled". And I usually don't combine sex-friends with those ones for pure friendship. I just have the feeling that it either can lead you to relationship or to the end of friendship. I have one bad experience of having sex with someone who was almost my friend. Then the relation was irreversably changed. I don't know if I'm right with all this stuff but I just have such feelings.

Any my ex - we're in touch. Just writing emails each other once or twice a week. "How are you? How are you? bla bla bla". I don't want to stop it for now. Maybe, there is gonna be sth cool from that (no relationship though!). He finished the last email with "love" (and then his name). Obviously, I'm sure he doesn't love me. I just remember that he put this word in many emails previously when we were together. Now , I've realized that it must have meant the same as now - which is nothing. Anyway - stop complaining. I'm not as happy person as I was before break-up but now at least I'm fine and I don't miss him anymore. I've definetely recovered and it didn't take that much time - around 10 days I guess. Some people cannot recover after break-ups for weeks, months or even years! And I'm fine after 10 days!!! Does it mean that he was not THIS ONE? Or maybe I'm just strong? Or maybe I'm a bitch who cannot fall in love in a person really deeply? I really don't know and probably I will never know that...

Anyway, since I'm expecting new things to happen I will surely update you! Wish me good (and safe!) sex and cool people around!