date #3

So it’s after our 3rd date and I’m a bit less amazed than before.

But from the beginning. We met yesterday in the neighboring city after our jobs were finished (yeah, it was Saturday and we were both working). We went to my friends place to have a coffee with him and then we came back to my city. I prepared a nice dinner, we watched cool movie (Crash) and then went to the bed. The sex was good but not exciting. Slightly below my expectations which kind of made a bit upset. It was not very bad so I shouldn’t be really disappointed.

At this point, I realize a thing that I wouldn’t like to be aware of. Out of all guys, I’ve had sex with for the last months (after first break up), I must admit that the best person to have sex with was my ex from my country. Was it the matter of good sexual connection? Or just more than 4 years of practice? What would be the answers for these questions in general? If the sex is not very good at the first time, can it be better later? After you get to know the person and what he likes the most? Can you practice good sex like other skills? Is good sex a skill? I truly want to believe that! I remember it was the case in one of the episode of SATC. And since this TV show had a lot of universal truths maybe this is also truth. I hope so.

Anyway, later, I got a bit upset again. It’s because he withdrew his proposition to do me a big favor (driving at the airport at night – now, I will have to spend a night there). I totally understand his reasons but anyway, after he promised doing this I expected it and now I’m a bit sad (again – fucking expectations).

So, these two things have caused today that I’m not in my best mood. Apart from that, the time spent with him was really nice. He stayed for night in my apartment and that was really cool. Especially falling asleep and waking up next to him. He also asked me to be a good boy in France :) (where I’m going on Tuesday for one week) but didn’t show any signs of being jealous which is good (especially, when I told him I would spend two nights at my gay friend’s place). He just said he trusted me. He also seemed to want to see me as soon as I’m back even if it were to be in the middle of the working week. We’ll see if this promise will be kept.

Anyway, I’m obviously not going to take any actions because of my mood today. I pretty much believe that I’m just not doing good today but no big steps need to be taken because of that. I’m going to be a good boy and I’m going to miss him although today I seem a bit disappointed. In the end, I guess there is no person on this world that is always 100% satisfied with his/her relations (relationships, friendships, family etc). We always face challenges when it comes to relations. On the other hand, maybe I’m just justifying or trying to deny that something goes wrong. Who knows? Maybe! I won’t be sure for now so let’s just not think about it too much. Let’s just forget about that, get ride of the bad mood and enjoy the life!