Friday, February 27, 2009

'yesterday never dies'

The past is back with its old temptations!

I have reestablished contact with one of my fuck buddies from Northern Africa. He is the one with whom I met more than once (or twice) and to whom, after that first time, I decided not to say goodbye in order not to lose a great opportunity of an amazing fuck. The sex was simply mind-blowing. If you want to remind of him just read how seductive and luxurious my life was.

To quickly bring you back the memories I will summarize the story. He was the guy that once randomly added me on Facebook. Then, another time visiting his city I decided to have a coffee with him. We ended up in his bedroom having great sex and then partying together. I would meet up with him every now and then mostly to have the opportunity of a great night.

(Un)fortunately, our relation ended just a few weeks before I left the country. He kicked me out of his bed when another guy knocked at the door at 5 AM. It was a humiliating story.

Some weeks later he removed me from Facebook and since I knew James it did not even matter to me. I forgot about the guy. Until a few days ago when he re-added me on Facebook. I ignored his request but he did that again. I ignored him again only to receive a message that he did not understand me not accepting him. I explained that I did not like the fact he had first removed me and then wanted to be friends again. His reply was very cheap and tacky. He said it had been his stupid cousin who had been playing with his Facebook account. I guess I am more stupid because instead of ignoring him I confirmed our friendship.

He wanted to hear all the news from me. So I told him where I lived and that I was together with James. He said he had moved to study to the country in the Alps (the same city I will visit in three weeks…) and he was still with his boyfriend (the same guy he was with when we had our ‘affair’). He also seemed very excited about coming to see me when he asked whether my new room / flat was as small as the one in the Northern Africa. That was too much. I decided to be honest. I told him ‘I wish I could let you stay at my place but I don’t think it's possible. You are too sexy and hot and we could do something that I would later regret and it can't happen as I'm totally faithful to my boyfriend’. I saw his photos from Maldives beaches where he looked amazingly hot and sexy. We kept exchanging emails. I am sure nothing will ever happen between the two of us. I do not even think I will ever see him again.

But why are these memories back? The memories of great sex… the memories or carefree nights (the sex was safe!)… the memories of amazing orgasms and a lot of fun. It is all part of my past and it will always remain there. Why do I need that if I have a great boyfriend who loves me and great sex he gives me? What is it exactly that I do not have and that I miss? Why is it connected with the Facebook guy?

Unfortunately, I am usually very nostalgic about my past. About most of the aspects of my past, including being able to have this kind of stories.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

save the drama for your mama

It has been a bit difficult to be in touch with James recently. I started my evening language classes twice a week and on the other days I go out quite often. And so does he.  We usually skype very late when we are both tired. 

On Monday, I was having a break between my language class when by total chance I met an old friend and decided to have a drink with her. In the meantime James texted me and asked whether I would be home anytime soon. I replied that I would be a bit later than expected. He said he would see his friend who had just broken up with his girlfriend because he obviously did not really seem to be doing well. So we both decided to skype a bit later than initially planned. I came back home but he was not there yet. Then I fell asleep and read a message in the morning. James was apologizing but he stayed over his friend much longer than he had thought. I was a bit upset and annoyed but did not send him anything. We spoke the day after and although I admitted having been annoyed a bit when he asked me about that, none of us actually cared about that.

I suspected another big drama last night. I went out with two friends of mine for an exhibition of 'attainable art' as it was called. We had a good time but at some point one of my friends annoyed me with her behavior and somehow I was not in a good mood anymore. James texted me when we were about to go home and I replied that I would call him on skype very soon. Unfortunately, it took me more than an hour to drive my friends to their places. Then I rushed home and tried to call him on skype. He was not answering. I tried on his mobile. Once with no reply. The second time he rejected. The third time as well. 'Oh yeah? You are mad at me because I did not go back home on time? Fine!' I thought to myself and violently threw my mobile on the other side of bed. I texted him 'could you answer my call, please?' I called again and this time I got him. The reason for rejecting or not answering was that... he was sleeping and when I woke him up he just pressed the red button instead of the green one. By chance as he was very sleepy. He said 'why would you think I would not answer your call? I am not the 'easily-getting-offended' type of a guy'.

And I am a drama queen.
I will not however save the drama for my mama. Because my mama would not be able to put up with the huge amount of the drama that her son keeps creating...

Friday, February 6, 2009

'the straight guy who saved me'

Some weeks ago, my friends and I went out to our favorite spot – ‘Kingston’. If you want to spend a great Thursday evening and night you should definitely be there. Whenever you enjoy yourself there you will always be accompanied by your old friends with a high chance possibility of make new ones. So it was an ordinarily great night in Kingston with the same fabulous crew. One of the frequent party-goers who never misses Kingston – R. (male) introduced me to his fabulous straight guy-friend (W.). Some other people and we were having great time together.

In the meantime another guy (S.) that I had seen a few times came up to me and we talked for a while. It turned out his company had organized a party for the employees and it was just taking place upstairs. He disappeared only to show up again a while later and he introduced me to his work-mate who was obviously gay (I guess my gay radar gets better). The gay guy (he confirmed that pretty soon) was nice. Unfortunately for him and many other people, he got really drunk later. He started hitting on me. Having realized he would not achieve anything he started dancing with my girl-friend W. and she later told me he had confessed her that he would fall for her if he was straight. Surprisingly (or not?), it did not flatter her. For the rest of the night he remained drunk and whenever I was near to him he would say (rather scream) to me things like ‘oh my God. I am normally not that drunk. I am so sorry. Will you forgive me? I am so pathetic.’ or ‘I like you so much but I know you have a boyfriend so I will not do anything because I respect you.’ or ‘I think I am falling in love with you.’ or ‘oh don’t look at me. I am so short and fat. But believe me! I used to be slimmer but it’s just recently that I gained weight.’ Apparently they guy had a problem with low self-esteem and was not able to express it in a decent manner (or simply keep it for himself). Not to be in a weird and uncomfortable situation while dancing next to him, I was lucky to have my two fabulous straight guy-friends close to me and I immediately ran away to dance with them. It was a great feeling to do that. No unnecessary sexual tensions and great, spontaneous, unpretentious fun.

Last night, S. was in Kingston again. We spoke and he told me about the gay-guy. He was apparently telling everyone he had fallen in love with me. It was only then when I realized that it was truth. On Facebook, I saw that (yes, I added the gay-guy… I did not know why I had done that but now I guess it had been out of pure sympathy) he started dating someone and changed his status. This triggered some random comments from his friends. One of his friends wrote my name (misspelled!). I have commented it that too… just to correct my name.

Why are gay people I usually meet so unattractive (and I do not mean physically) or bizarre? Actually it might be better for me – fewer temptation for me…