'all I want for Christmas is you'

It is just going fabulous. No other way to describe it is needed. 

Yesterday, I was driving my car and the radio was on while playing 'passer Noël ensemble' which means 'to spend Christmas together'. And that is what will happen in two-week-time. I am going to spend Christmas time and New Year's Eve with James Bond. We have been together for six months and we will spend our first Christmas together.

If I complain about anything in this relationship please, slap me hard. Until I understand how lucky I got to be.

'you only live once?'

‘Now that we broke up I have more time for my friends, for going out and for having some social life’ told me my friend who had broken up with her boyfriend after around five years – this is the same couple that I wrote about in the previous post.

The first thing that made me wonder was why she said she had more time for friends and social life having finished the relationship… Is it unfeasible to have both - a successful relationship and friends with social life as well? Can’t we have it all? Can we live our lives twice at the same time? Or is it incompatible to have the one and the other? And if we can have it all is it only for a short period of time? Until the days when we become boring, resign from exciting lives because we think we cannot have it all and then we buy a house in the suburbs, furnish it with IKEA stuff and then get a dog of labrador breed? Let me just remind you of the swinging couple from a few posts ago.

And I want to be like them.
Excluding the swinging part obviously.

‘relationships are not forever’

I know a couple who had been together since before the day I had met them. And I met them more than five years ago. They had been together for all those years. Until the day when they decided to finish it. I don’t know the reasons behind that but isn’t this really frightening to hear that people part after so much time of being together? On the other hand - as someone said - it is better to finish an unfulfilling (even if it is a very long one) relationship than to carry on and be stuck in it. The sooner you finish it the less time of your life you will waste. Despite that I will never stop asking myself the question of when we should continue on trying to save a falling-apart relationship and when to stop doing that and acknowledge that it does not have future anymore. When do we know that we should finish it? In my longest relationship that ended right after I left for North Africa things had been going pretty bad for the year prior to the break-up / my departure. I thought I was ready to finish it after three weeks of constant fighting that took place at the ‘beginning of the end’. The ‘end of the end’ took place ten months later while I was abroad. Not because I was giving it chance but because I was not able to say ‘it’s over’ and then execute that. But was it the right decision? Maybe I did not do my best to save it or maybe it was not meant to work out? Maybe both? So when should we give up, break up and stop fighting for something that does not work out? Where is the borderline? Do we do enough? Aren’t we supposed to be together for better and for worse instead of for better or until the road gets rocky? Is it always possible to save a relationship? Or should we just leave it? I guess those sort of questions are only asked rhetorically. No one knows the answers when we have to take that kind of a decision. Or maybe we all know them or rather feel them when we should feel them? No mathematical equation will solve this issue – just feelings?

I did not have the answer while breaking up but I believe I have it now. I have James and I have feelings for him. And these feelings tell me that all I did was fine. Because I am now with him. And nothing else matters.

‘he’s the last of the secret agents and his my man’ Nancy Sinatra