enjoying being single

So, as you know about 2 months ago I finished my relationship. In the beginnig it wasn't easy to adjust to new life but it later it was ok.

Then, what does it mean to enjoy being single after relationship when you were faithful for more than 4 years? It's simple and obvious - having [safe!] sex with a lot of new people. The easiest way is of course to meet them on line. That's what I started doing. Let me tell you some stories.

I opened a profile on a gay portal and started chatting with guys. Then I started meeting them and having sex from time to time. When I was in a relationship I must admit that one of the thing that I was missing was sexual diversity which is having sex with other people. So after breaking up my dreams seemed to come true. But was it really that great experience? Was it really something that I needed? Hmmm... I don't think so. Moreover, most of the time sex was really bad! I didn't enjoy it at all! And I have to admit that my ex was really good in bed!

Well, to be honest, I'll tell you that I met one guy who was just awesome! His name was B. He was 1 year younger, had lovely dark skin, beatiful smile and one thing that I always wanted - he was muscle, not very much but just perfect. The day we met on line we figured out that we would spend the same evening and night in neighbouring city which is more interesting in terms of entertainment. We even took the same train. He looked much better than through web cam. He was so cute. We took a room in a cheap hotel. We only had less then one hour because I was invited by my friends but we did it twice and it was fabulous. His tongue was doing miracles! Besides, I got to like him a lot since he was so sweet. His tricks were making me fly away. But what happened between us was more than sex... I started to feel that he was so nice and cool and that I wanted to spend a lot of time with him. Some people call it love at the first sight but since I don't believe in such crap I tend to name it "fascination". At that time he didn't seem to care about me and what made him be so inaccessible for me. That even makes you think and want such person more! But later within next couple of days I realized that he also felt something to me. "What a luck!!! - two way arrows!!!" you would think. Well, not exactly... I realized that I got him. I finally had him and he was not interesting for me anymore. Maybe just for sex... Does it mean that if we finally manage to get people, to posses them, later we're not interested in them because they are not attractive for us? Because we got what we wanted and there is nothing to fight for? If it's not the case for you, my dear reader, is it a case for me? Am I so fucked up and I will always be like this in terms of relations with people??

Moreover the experience with all these guys was not something that I was expecting to have. It was kind of weird. Chatting with guys, then meeting them, talking about the same things, saying what you do in this country, why you're here and bla bla bla. Then usually going to bed... And again with another person... I think I wanted to meet someone who was really interesting. And maybe it's better to start a relation from talking and talking and talking, but not from having sex!