double trouble

I'm pretty good at my NY's resolutions. I've had no random sex yet (and planning not to have it).

But life is full of other confusions anyway.

Today I was sitting in my office and working when I got a call from my ex. He told me he was in the city so why not seeing each other. I really enjoy spending time with him so I said yes. 15 minutes later he was in the shopping center in front of my office. We did some shopping, had a car ride. It was really nice. I was trying to resist from kissing and touching him. I managed although it was not easy... Some feelings reappeared...

At the time when I was leaving my office I got an msn message from Europe. It was him - Mr Charm, the guy met on the street of one capital city of the southern European country. I even didn't read it and ran to meet my ex. When I came back I had a really nice conversation with him. He said he seemed lonely with no life partner and apparently no true friends... I was trying to cheer him up. I wished to be there with him at that moment. And now watching SATC with my flat mate (season 3 episode 14 - sex and another city) he texted me writing "Miss you".

Today, when updating my flat mate about my day I said that I had met A. (my ex) and we had gone shopping, had nice conversation and spent fabulous time. Then I added that I had been chatting with Mr Charm and it had been great too. And I concluded "my both relationships are going fine!". Is it funny or pathetic? I was kidding of course. I'm single but somehow involved in these two relations. I have certain feelings for the both guys. The more time I spend with one of them, the less I think about the other one... It's complicated - that should be my new Facebook relationship status. How come I feel something for both of them? Should I suspend these relations or one of them? If yes, which one? I know I'm crazy but I will just continue both of them. I'm not that successful to be involved in both of them - one will probably fade away eventually so at least I will be left with the second one (but I hope that relation and contact will not be lost). It's so bizarre.

I guess I should let things go their way. With no expectations! Come what may!