The week after we broke up I decided to go out and hook up with someone. I went to a gay bar but did not succeed in meeting anyone interesting. I went to another one where I bumped into some Dutch guys whom I had met a few months earlier when a friend of mine dragged me to go out to some gay places. Back then, I exchanged a few words and left home. Last week, the guy I had been speaking to was not there. There were just his friends who remembered me. They said I had impressed him and they asked what I felt about him. I hesitated to answer so they assumed I had liked him too. It was the truth as far as I remembered. So I told them to call him. They said he would not be able to come. So I gave my number to one of them and asked to pass it further to the other guy. He promised to do so.
But I was not ready to wait day(s) to be contacted by him. I liked his friend whom I had given my number. And I wanted to stay longer with him. We decided to finish the night. So we walked out and went toward his place. We did not plan that. Neither did we spoke about that. But I ended up in his apartment. I just did not want to stay at my place all by myself with my thoughts. He figured that out. He guessed I was in some sort of bad period of my life. So I stayed over. We were not planning to have sex but you know how it ends when two hot guys lie next to each other. It was nice. I left in the morning.
I saw him again a few days later. I went to his place. We talked more. I told him about my broken relationship, about my lost job and some confusions. But I also asked him about his relationships. He is 37 but he has never been with someone. I guess he is not a relationship person. He does not look for anyone. He said 'how can I commit to someone when I can't be committed to myself?' I guess that explains pretty much everything. He is just not that into anyone. I slept at his place again but that time we did not do anything. Apparently, it is not always that something has to happen between two guys sleeping next to each other. He just did not want to. A few days later, I was trying to get in touch with him but he did not seem interested in meeting up with me. So I decided to drop the idea of me and him seeing each other anymore. It is not that I was in love with him or that I was hoping for something. I am now in a post-break-up stage and feel like meeting up with some one purely for distraction purposes. I am leaving the city soon and so is he. We both know about it. I rather treat it all as expiration dating. Knowing that it will finish soon and accepting it but having fun especially to distract oneself.
I hope he is interested in that at least.
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