me, myself and I

It is really interesting and surprising how I judge others versus myself in the very same situations and based on the same criteria. The results are completely different. I guess I am doubled or trippled or whatever!

I started my new job on the 1st of September. I work in a corporation where according to the general perception one can never have their free time and where your personal life is the subject of disrespect. That obviously negatively affects your personal life.
It’s hard to say that my life was destroyed from the amount of work so far (which can always happen in the future but I assume it will not). I don’t work more than needed, there is no rat race and people are always very nice and helpful.

So what are these initial observations? I joined the department as one of 11 newcomers. Out of them, 10 are in a relationship (including me). Isn’t it a very promising result for the future generations? When I listen to the other workers I will just hear “my girlfriend and I”, “my wife”, “my husband”, “our children”. They all or most of them seem to live in the small cities/villages or suburbs of the capital (of the Kingdom I am living in now) with their girlfriends or boyfriends and the future just looks like “and they live happily ever after.” (I cannot imagine of something worse than living in any of these places, especially suburbs).

I feel kind of irritated by these people. I find them more boring. I am sometimes surprised to hear the length of their relationships or the fact of being married! I also kind of appreciate people who are single and who feel great about it. I don’t feel that anymore though when I realize that a person considers staying single for the rest of her/his life. And it’s here where inconsistency starts. Because, I do have to admit how inconsistent I am in this thinking. I, myself, am in a relationship. I am very happy with James Bond. I could get married to him right away if we had an opportunity. And I would never find it irritating, boring or surprising. I would be genuinely happy for us – more than happy I am sure. I could sacrifice so much. Why then do I feel all these kind of negative feelings for my work mates? I need to stress that it is not the case for my close friends. I would always be truly happy for them and their partners whenever they got one. And I am so happy for myself! Why can’t I be happy for the others? Maybe it is because I value my friends way more than some new random work mates? Maybe it is because of rejection of anything related to settling down in one place - especially in the city where I have been living for a couple of weeks? Because of rejection of anything related to my new work place and new lifestyle? Or maybe because of the fact that my relationship is better (according to me) and different than the standard ones (because of its international aspects – coming back from two different places, meeting each other in one country, living in other countries now, planning to live together in some other countries in the future)?

Any ideas?