'yesterday never dies'

The past is back with its old temptations!

I have reestablished contact with one of my fuck buddies from Northern Africa. He is the one with whom I met more than once (or twice) and to whom, after that first time, I decided not to say goodbye in order not to lose a great opportunity of an amazing fuck. The sex was simply mind-blowing. If you want to remind of him just read how seductive and luxurious my life was.

To quickly bring you back the memories I will summarize the story. He was the guy that once randomly added me on Facebook. Then, another time visiting his city I decided to have a coffee with him. We ended up in his bedroom having great sex and then partying together. I would meet up with him every now and then mostly to have the opportunity of a great night.

(Un)fortunately, our relation ended just a few weeks before I left the country. He kicked me out of his bed when another guy knocked at the door at 5 AM. It was a humiliating story.

Some weeks later he removed me from Facebook and since I knew James it did not even matter to me. I forgot about the guy. Until a few days ago when he re-added me on Facebook. I ignored his request but he did that again. I ignored him again only to receive a message that he did not understand me not accepting him. I explained that I did not like the fact he had first removed me and then wanted to be friends again. His reply was very cheap and tacky. He said it had been his stupid cousin who had been playing with his Facebook account. I guess I am more stupid because instead of ignoring him I confirmed our friendship.

He wanted to hear all the news from me. So I told him where I lived and that I was together with James. He said he had moved to study to the country in the Alps (the same city I will visit in three weeks…) and he was still with his boyfriend (the same guy he was with when we had our ‘affair’). He also seemed very excited about coming to see me when he asked whether my new room / flat was as small as the one in the Northern Africa. That was too much. I decided to be honest. I told him ‘I wish I could let you stay at my place but I don’t think it's possible. You are too sexy and hot and we could do something that I would later regret and it can't happen as I'm totally faithful to my boyfriend’. I saw his photos from Maldives beaches where he looked amazingly hot and sexy. We kept exchanging emails. I am sure nothing will ever happen between the two of us. I do not even think I will ever see him again.

But why are these memories back? The memories of great sex… the memories or carefree nights (the sex was safe!)… the memories of amazing orgasms and a lot of fun. It is all part of my past and it will always remain there. Why do I need that if I have a great boyfriend who loves me and great sex he gives me? What is it exactly that I do not have and that I miss? Why is it connected with the Facebook guy?

Unfortunately, I am usually very nostalgic about my past. About most of the aspects of my past, including being able to have this kind of stories.