However, the people grow as the years pass by. They develop, improve and become better day by day (or at least this is the theory). I believe I have mastered this theory and put it into practice. I was just very successful in suspecting someone being a gay, then discovering the truth and realizing I had been right.
A few months ago my gay-radar said that one of the guys at my office was gay. He would inquire a few times about me. Then sometimes I would see him a bit nervous when around me. Several times he would act a bit silly. He would also smile in this sweet, intimidated way. I was sure he was gay.
Couple of times I used the opportunity of a lunch together to discover whether I was right. No luck. Then, there was a company socializing event where many people got drunk in a club. I was about to speak to him for a while but a moment later another guy showed up and there was no possibility of a decent conversation without witnesses.
But everything was confirmed two days ago. Around noon I came downstairs to the canteen and having chosen the dish I took the only free place that happened to be next to the guy. He, knowing I was on holidays, asked me how it had gone and whether I had enjoyed being in my home country. I said I had not been in my country but in the country on the border of Europe and Asia (to see James but I did not reveal that yet). He just asked me how I liked it and then did not continue the conversation. But I was too smart to lose such a good moment to discover the truth about him. I knew that if I had started talking why I had been there I would have had to say the real reason - visiting my boyfriend. So I quickly manipulated the conversation and made it go my way. Having been asked by him a standard and dull question 'did you like your holidays?' I answered 'yes, it was cool but the city I saw was a bit boring to me as I know it quite well - it was my third time there'. He seemed surprised and asked me why I was going there so often or whether I had some friends there. That was the questions I had been expecting. The guy got into my trap. I asked 'no, I went there to visit my boyfriend'. On his face, I noticed the tiny ray of surprise, embarrassment and insincere but somewhat politely forced understanding. Then he wanted to know some more details about my relationship but it was just a routine enquiry. Now, the floor was mine. It was my time for offensive. I posted the inevitable question. The one I had been planning to ask and for which I had prepared the ground by performing the aforementioned manipulation. 'And you? Are you with someone? Do you have a girlfriend?' the words came out of my mouth. Of course I was expecting not to hear anything of any girls. And so was his response. 'I have a boyfriend' he said 'he's of the same origins as me, we have been together for eight years and now we live together as last year we bought a flat. He works in a bank abroad but as the country is tiny he commutes every day' he kept answering my consecutive questions.
The feeling of a victory was mostly caused by the fact the guy did not look like a stereotypical guy. I just felt it by being close to him during some moments at work. I just sensed that he was gay. It was hard to tell by seeing him but easy to feel without looking. However, the sense of a victory got, sort of, swept away. Yes, it is was nice to feel that I had been right all the time and than he, in fact, was gay. But what I rather felt was the envy. Maybe from my perspective their lives are quite boring. They had settled down very deeply - bought a flat, both have boring jobs and live in a hardly exciting city. But who cares? I assume they are happy with what they have - a nice and decent life, stable careers, convenient place to live and most of all - themselves. For eight years. When I had heard it I realized how little experience James and I had. Our relationship is just a couple of months... most of all has been long distance. We did not have a lot of time to get to know each other...
I called James later that day to break the news. I also told him I had admired the fact they had been together for eight years. Keeping in mind that we had less than one year together he just said 'well baby, seven more to go and we will be able to say eight!'
And as of the coming fall - together in one country, city and apartment.
We are working on it right now. Very hard.
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