'for single friends' eyes only'

One of many things I appreciate James for is his sense of humor. He knows about this blog and reads it from time to time. Once I mentioned him that I had updated my other blog but I had not written anything on this one. And he replied 'so once you are in a relationship with me now then sex and the medina will suffer from no stories as you cannot have any adventures with boys now so you will not write a lot' and he laughed. The only word I said was 'well...' but I did not know how to finish the sentence. My sexual life has become very stable now. Not a good material for this blog.

So, as I do not get into cabs and pass the Eiffel Tower and then I do not walk around the neighborhoods of my newly met sex dates at night in order to buy condoms, as I do not make out on the bridges above the river in the city of lovers near Notre Dame, as I do not hook up with random guys near mosques while waiting for other guys who blow me off (please, don't confuse blowing off with blowjobs), as I do not have eye connection with some strangers on the streets of a capital of a Southern European country and I do not get into their cars, as I do not call my fuck buddies at 1 AM because I am horny - as I do not happen to do these seemingly exciting things and considering the fact that I do not want the readers of this blog to flow away I will provide you with some silly but hilarious stories of my single friends (God bless single friends!).

One of my friends - W. who happened to live with me in Northern Africa and who happens to live with me here goes out with me almost all the time. We have our favorite expats' hot spot called 'Kingston' and we are there every Thursday. It is classy, fun and fabulous. While we were there W. got lucky to attract the guy playing saxophone. Maybe he was not the cutest guy on earth but he played sax. And as it later turned out he was a mix of three different nationalities and I guess I do not have to stress how much I like it (and so does she now after hanging out way too much with me). So while she was making out with him I sent her a message 'he is playing sax. don't refuse ANYTHING!'. But the things with them did not go further and somehow she ended up with another guy. She could not remember his name so she would call him 'Leen' (that's how she understood his name in a loud night club) or more often 'horny guy' (guess why). She spent rest of the night in Kingston with him. The next Thursday in our hot spot she met up with a Spanish guy and made out with him on the dance floor. I texted her 'I like him. Go for it!' to approve her choice and praise her good taste. She also stayed with him until the end of the party but didn't take him home.

Last Thursday when we met up before the party she looked terrified. On the way from the metro station to Kingston passing the Justice Palace and a promenade overlooking the city she admitted she had received two text messages on that day. One of which was from the horny guy and the other from the Spanish guy. Both were saying the same - that they would be delighted to see her in Kingston that night. She panicked. Probably, the sax guy would be there too meaning three guys she made out with - and at least two of them hoping for more. Over the course of the night she managed to make them not to come using weak but efficient excuses like 'oh sorry, I'm too tired today. Let's just call it a night' or 'I do not feel like partying tonight. It is just going to be me, a glass of wine and a film'. So we enjoyed the night together dancing and having fun with our friends. 

The relation with both of them somehow continued. 

The Spanish guy became very romantic. Another time, he took her out for a dinner and brought her to his spotlessly clean apartment. She got terrified again. What guy would keep his apartment that clean? It looked like a hospital or museum. Is he normal? What would he think if he saw my dirty room? Nevertheless, he was a gentleman and she couldn't reject him because of the clean flat, could she? He also brought her a cock (the animal of course - a small souvenir) from his trip to Northern Portugal. During one of the dates he said 'I might be falling in love with you'. That was too much. And this way he spoiled it saying something stupid like 'I love you'... Too clean flat, a cock and I love you? Too much. It had no future. The relation slowed down and invisibly finished. Then she just saw him dancing in a nightclub with some other girl a few weeks later...

Leen was also 'taken into consideration' a few times. He was the hilarious/pathetic clumsy type of a guy. Sometimes it was funny, sometimes it was better to cover your eyes with your hands or simply look away. He was lucky to be invited 'upstairs' which was good for both of them. I was already worried W. could get revirginized so I appreciated her interactions with horny Leen. No significant connection though so it never evolved further. It could not have been love so it's over now.

Show must go on. Fun must go on. Games must go on.

Although I would never trade the relationship with James to anything/anyone else I have to sincerely admit I sometimes miss those carefree stories - you never know where you will wake up or whether you pass the Eiffel Tower at night.

Luckily, we have memories. And single friends.

'octo-PUSSY'

A few days ago, I spoke on Facebook with my North African ex. He is in a relationship now. His boyfriend lives and studies in his city but is originally from another North African country. Unfortunately, they will have to switch to long-distance relationship soon. His boyfriend is moving back to his country and my ex will start his masters in Europe. I asked the standard question I always ask in such situations - what will happen with your relationship now? The answer I got was 'we don't know, we don't speak about it now and do not intend to do so, our relation will inevitably change but we will definitely stay in touch...'. 

'Is that all there is?' I thought. Isn't there any desire and willingness to fight for it? I know it is often about families and the society but don't they have guts to challenge themselves and try to make it work? And if there is no will then why are they together? What is the point of such a relationship? Fun? The feeling or having someone even if it is only for a limited period of time? What feelings do they have towards each other? I really cannot understand it...

The conversation continued but suddenly it was interrupted... My ex said 'listen I am having a terrible diarrhoea. I don't know if I will make it to the toilet'

There was no way we could continue the conversation. All the topics literally floated away with the liquid #2.

It is so good I am only friends with him now.

'all I want for Christmas is you' - part deux

James has just left today - back to his city on the border between Europe and Asia. He had been here with me for nine amazing days. 

I guess it was the best days we had spent together since we started our relationship. The fact that none of us had holidays helped a lot.

He arrived on the 23rd. The night before, I called him and he terrified me saying he had just got an email saying his flight had been cancelled. I freaked out. He calmly said not to worry and the next day I got another message saying he should be in my city before noon which was earlier than he was supposed to arrive. It calmed me but I was still uncertain whether I would spend this Christmas with him or by myself. The next day knowing that he would arrive during my working hours and being aware that I could not leave the office because of a training I informed the ladies at the reception that I would have a guest arriving. To my happiness I got a call from them saying that my guest had just arrived. It was great to see him. I took him to a café at my office and returned to the training. During the lunch break I drove him home. Then I came back to the office and was counting minutes to the end of the working day. The next day we had the Christmas Eve dinner. At the beginning I realized that it would be my first Christmas dinner without the 'big family' atmosphere. Just me and another person. He felt sort of weird too. It freaked me out but after a great food together, exchange of presents and most of all the fact of spending this magic time with my boyfriend I understood how amazing that evening was.

The rest of our time together was incredible too. Visiting the nice cities around the country, meeting up with some friends and making new ones, sleeping till noon, watching movies, having great sex etc Another thing was the trip to Paris. It was very sweet but also cliché. The whole city is very cliché so why couldn't we be this way too? It was wonderful. We saw the Eiffer Tower, Montmartre, Champs Elysées and all the other must-see places. We walked along the Seine hand in hand and kissed on the bridges over the river. Life is a movie, isn't it?

We had a lot of fun, some serious conversation on the future but also some small dramas and annoying moments. All I know is that I don't want him for Christmas only. I also want him for the rest of the year. And the coming years too.

'all I want for Christmas is you'

It is just going fabulous. No other way to describe it is needed. 

Yesterday, I was driving my car and the radio was on while playing 'passer Noël ensemble' which means 'to spend Christmas together'. And that is what will happen in two-week-time. I am going to spend Christmas time and New Year's Eve with James Bond. We have been together for six months and we will spend our first Christmas together.

If I complain about anything in this relationship please, slap me hard. Until I understand how lucky I got to be.

'you only live once?'

‘Now that we broke up I have more time for my friends, for going out and for having some social life’ told me my friend who had broken up with her boyfriend after around five years – this is the same couple that I wrote about in the previous post.

The first thing that made me wonder was why she said she had more time for friends and social life having finished the relationship… Is it unfeasible to have both - a successful relationship and friends with social life as well? Can’t we have it all? Can we live our lives twice at the same time? Or is it incompatible to have the one and the other? And if we can have it all is it only for a short period of time? Until the days when we become boring, resign from exciting lives because we think we cannot have it all and then we buy a house in the suburbs, furnish it with IKEA stuff and then get a dog of labrador breed? Let me just remind you of the swinging couple from a few posts ago.

And I want to be like them.
Excluding the swinging part obviously.

‘relationships are not forever’

I know a couple who had been together since before the day I had met them. And I met them more than five years ago. They had been together for all those years. Until the day when they decided to finish it. I don’t know the reasons behind that but isn’t this really frightening to hear that people part after so much time of being together? On the other hand - as someone said - it is better to finish an unfulfilling (even if it is a very long one) relationship than to carry on and be stuck in it. The sooner you finish it the less time of your life you will waste. Despite that I will never stop asking myself the question of when we should continue on trying to save a falling-apart relationship and when to stop doing that and acknowledge that it does not have future anymore. When do we know that we should finish it? In my longest relationship that ended right after I left for North Africa things had been going pretty bad for the year prior to the break-up / my departure. I thought I was ready to finish it after three weeks of constant fighting that took place at the ‘beginning of the end’. The ‘end of the end’ took place ten months later while I was abroad. Not because I was giving it chance but because I was not able to say ‘it’s over’ and then execute that. But was it the right decision? Maybe I did not do my best to save it or maybe it was not meant to work out? Maybe both? So when should we give up, break up and stop fighting for something that does not work out? Where is the borderline? Do we do enough? Aren’t we supposed to be together for better and for worse instead of for better or until the road gets rocky? Is it always possible to save a relationship? Or should we just leave it? I guess those sort of questions are only asked rhetorically. No one knows the answers when we have to take that kind of a decision. Or maybe we all know them or rather feel them when we should feel them? No mathematical equation will solve this issue – just feelings?

I did not have the answer while breaking up but I believe I have it now. I have James and I have feelings for him. And these feelings tell me that all I did was fine. Because I am now with him. And nothing else matters.

‘he’s the last of the secret agents and his my man’ Nancy Sinatra

'the living nightlights'

I met with a friend. She is of my nationality and I met her a few weeks ago. She is very cool and we spend great time whenever we meet. Last evening, I went to her place accompanied by a bottle of wine and some Turkish fast food to deal with my hunger. We were together at her place for almost five hours speaking about social life of the city we live in, must-know partying people, our experiences with men, friendships etc - totally SATC conversations. You know I love that.

After hearing some experiences of hers and of some of the people she knows and after telling her about the 'issues' I had in my relationship I realized how unmeaning my issues were.

When we finished the second bottle of red wine I headed back home. Accompanied by the nightlights of the city where I live in. It was surprisingly great to walk down the streets at night even though it was not the first time I had done that. I called James but he did not pick up after two trials. I was on the Square of Liechtenstein when I called him for the third time. I said to myself: 'please answer this phone - this is such a beautiful square of my city. I love this place'. When I was here waiting in my car for this friend three weeks ago I thought that I had an amazing life and that I was extremely happy with all I have - I thought about it on this place. I stopped and I thought about it again: 'please, answer the phone'. He answered the phone. I told him I loved him. He told me the same. For the rest of my way home, I wasn't walking home. I was flying home. I was literally flying on my way home. As if I had wings. I was drawing hearts of the snow on the cars. Around five hearts on five cars. And the sixth one was the biggest - it was on the roof of my car.

Just before getting home I just opened my hair, shook my head and spread my hair all over my head and face. I jumped happily. I got inside and went to bed. I received a text from James saying 'thank you for the call. I love you'

I fell asleep.