Friday, April 25, 2008
what goes around comes around
The worst thing about having one night stands or meeting some random people for sex is when they call later after some days and you don't feel like meeting them anymore. I'm a conquerer so as soon as I get someone for sex I'm no longer interested in this person for sexual reasons later (with some exceptions). And I hate when they call! It's ok for me to call a guy for the second, third,... time because it's my choice etc But why the fuck is he calling me? Did I ever ask for that? It's often so annoying. And I need to work on my assertiveness in order to say that "I'm just not into you anymore, baby"... Or maybe it's better to lie? Any suggestions?
distraction fuck
Distraction fuck is the new term that I've just come up with. It means that you go to bed with someone in order to distract yourself from something, i.e. from a sad break-up. I did it last time in December when I broke up with A. I immediately found a hot date and had sex with him. It was the Indian guy.
Don't write this term down. It doesn't work. The distraction fuck is a short term solution. It only works for a while and then distraction goes away and the problems are back (if someone is successful in usage of DF please, let me know how you do it).
I have just come back from a fuck. It was that Indian. It was not exciting at all. Although sex itself was not bad. There was something in the atmosphere missing. Maybe because it was too obvious and too little spontaneous. We got in touch through skype, set the hour, the place and just went there. A short conversation and afterwards very quickly to bed. Then a fast shower and back home. I guess it was around 1.5h between leaving home and returning. It was simply boring.
I usually like to have everything planned in my life. I have a career that has been carefully planned since I started my studies. I planned going abroad and I am here in North Africa for a one year contract. I even plan relationships when I know the guy for a few days. But planning sex is inappropriate even for me! It has just to be spontaneous (like last Saturday or the one before). In this case, even sex with the taxi driver who was trying to seduce me would be much more exciting.
I think these one night stands don't contribute to my life in any way. I don't feel any happier afterwards. Maybe if sex is spontaneous then it's at least fun. In this case it's not. It's too predictable. He made me actually laugh before I came over to his place. He said:
Indian[9:13:58 PM] says: I hope it's ok if you don't spend the night
Indian[9:14:07 PM] says: tonight as tomorrow I have an inspection
Indian[9:14:26 PM] says: of my apartment and I have technicians coming in the morning
Indian[9:14:41 PM] says: to check the electrical circuits plumbing
Indian[9:14:43 PM] says: etc
Indian[9:15:00 PM] says: please, don't take it personally
Indian[9:15:14 PM] says: I don't mean to be rude or impersonal
Of course, I didn't mind. I even didn't plan to stay there over the night.
Ehh, I think I simply waste my time doing stuff like this. I didn't need to distract myself so I didn't need sex. I ended up confused after sex. Do I paradoxically need new sex to distract myself from current confusion made by sex with the Indian? I don't think so... The amount of sex was too big recently (and ironically, I'm meeting the belly dancer tomorrow - at least with him it's fun so I won't be confused).
Well, another learning for me - I know I'm not a addicted to sex :) And I should have less sex. And it should be more spontaneous when it happens.
I had my lesson. Learnings - to be applied next time. During the next few days I will be on a desert trip so it's highly probable that I won't be able to have sex there. What a relief! Unless I meet some cute and horny nomad. On the other hand it's so dry on the desert... maybe there won't be any rain in my sexual life either...
Don't write this term down. It doesn't work. The distraction fuck is a short term solution. It only works for a while and then distraction goes away and the problems are back (if someone is successful in usage of DF please, let me know how you do it).
I have just come back from a fuck. It was that Indian. It was not exciting at all. Although sex itself was not bad. There was something in the atmosphere missing. Maybe because it was too obvious and too little spontaneous. We got in touch through skype, set the hour, the place and just went there. A short conversation and afterwards very quickly to bed. Then a fast shower and back home. I guess it was around 1.5h between leaving home and returning. It was simply boring.
I usually like to have everything planned in my life. I have a career that has been carefully planned since I started my studies. I planned going abroad and I am here in North Africa for a one year contract. I even plan relationships when I know the guy for a few days. But planning sex is inappropriate even for me! It has just to be spontaneous (like last Saturday or the one before). In this case, even sex with the taxi driver who was trying to seduce me would be much more exciting.
I think these one night stands don't contribute to my life in any way. I don't feel any happier afterwards. Maybe if sex is spontaneous then it's at least fun. In this case it's not. It's too predictable. He made me actually laugh before I came over to his place. He said:
Indian[9:13:58 PM] says: I hope it's ok if you don't spend the night
Indian[9:14:07 PM] says: tonight as tomorrow I have an inspection
Indian[9:14:26 PM] says: of my apartment and I have technicians coming in the morning
Indian[9:14:41 PM] says: to check the electrical circuits plumbing
Indian[9:14:43 PM] says: etc
Indian[9:15:00 PM] says: please, don't take it personally
Indian[9:15:14 PM] says: I don't mean to be rude or impersonal
Of course, I didn't mind. I even didn't plan to stay there over the night.
Ehh, I think I simply waste my time doing stuff like this. I didn't need to distract myself so I didn't need sex. I ended up confused after sex. Do I paradoxically need new sex to distract myself from current confusion made by sex with the Indian? I don't think so... The amount of sex was too big recently (and ironically, I'm meeting the belly dancer tomorrow - at least with him it's fun so I won't be confused).
Well, another learning for me - I know I'm not a addicted to sex :) And I should have less sex. And it should be more spontaneous when it happens.
I had my lesson. Learnings - to be applied next time. During the next few days I will be on a desert trip so it's highly probable that I won't be able to have sex there. What a relief! Unless I meet some cute and horny nomad. On the other hand it's so dry on the desert... maybe there won't be any rain in my sexual life either...
Sunday, April 20, 2008
life is a [seductive] movie
Sex is not passé anymore! It had just been a few days that I was bored with it. Let me share with you some movie stories from yesterday and last night.
On Saturday, I woke up in the morning after a party. It was way too early to wake up but I had to. I was supposed to go the neighboring city (just one hour by train) for a meeting related to my work. Fortunately, I didn't have to play any significant role so I let myself miss two trains and arrived more than one hour late. No one objected. I felt not well after the party so I just left in the middle of the meeting. At that point I didn't want go to the train station so I just called a guy. A guy that randomly added my on Facebook. It later appeared that we have a common friend on FB - that's how he found me. We met and then decided to go to his apartment. Not because I planned sex but I was just tired and wanted to avoid the noise of the street. I really thought so. He lives alone. I found out that he had a boyfriend. Twice older than me or him and living in Europe. We had some nice conversations too.
Then, weird things started happening. He said he was tired and would like to have a nap. I said I was tired as well. He suggested sleeping in his big bed in the bedroom. I agreed although I could sleep on the couch in the living room. I went to the toilet and when I entered the bedroom he was already in the bed. Only in his underwear. He was gorgeous, beautiful and very masculine. I laid on the other half of the bed - in my clothes. He suggested taking them off to make myself feel more comfortable. I did it. I was really trying to have a nap thinking that nothing would happen. After a while, we cuddled and then we started kissing. He started that. I don't have to say what happened later. It's funny because until the moment before we touched each other I thought we were in the bed for sleeping only. I went to the bedroom really naively, thinking that nothing would happen. But I don't regret. Sex was more fabulous than with any of the guys met recently.
He said it would be cool if I stayed over the night with him. I couldn't because I was already invited for some party in my city. Then, I proposed him to go with me. Maybe I wouldn't have done it if I had known some a bit freaky facts about him. He showed me his mobile phone that he broke a few days before after a really tough conversation with his boyfriend. The other thing was the fact that he was a belly dancer. He also had some clothes for that. They were totally feminine. None of the weird facts was really creepy but they were just awkward. I had invited him before so there was no way back. We went there together. It was actually nice. He was a nice person, met my friends who liked him. When we came back home we slept together and had some sex.
On the way back from party I had one of the most funny and incredible stories ever. The cab driver was clearly hitting on me (he was cute and young). He was so full of sex! The cab stopped so that my friend could get something from the shop. Then I stayed in the cab only with the driver who turned around and gave me that wild look. My friend came back later and me and the driver had eye connection through the mirror. Then when we arrived I paid the guy and he kind of touched my hand when I was handing over the cash. And when I was getting off, he put his hand on my leg and sent me a kiss. That cab was just full of the sexual atmosphere. That was amazing.
My friends keep telling me that I must emit some kind of signals so that I meet all these guys all the time. I've started believing in that...
Life is a seductive movie!
On Saturday, I woke up in the morning after a party. It was way too early to wake up but I had to. I was supposed to go the neighboring city (just one hour by train) for a meeting related to my work. Fortunately, I didn't have to play any significant role so I let myself miss two trains and arrived more than one hour late. No one objected. I felt not well after the party so I just left in the middle of the meeting. At that point I didn't want go to the train station so I just called a guy. A guy that randomly added my on Facebook. It later appeared that we have a common friend on FB - that's how he found me. We met and then decided to go to his apartment. Not because I planned sex but I was just tired and wanted to avoid the noise of the street. I really thought so. He lives alone. I found out that he had a boyfriend. Twice older than me or him and living in Europe. We had some nice conversations too.
Then, weird things started happening. He said he was tired and would like to have a nap. I said I was tired as well. He suggested sleeping in his big bed in the bedroom. I agreed although I could sleep on the couch in the living room. I went to the toilet and when I entered the bedroom he was already in the bed. Only in his underwear. He was gorgeous, beautiful and very masculine. I laid on the other half of the bed - in my clothes. He suggested taking them off to make myself feel more comfortable. I did it. I was really trying to have a nap thinking that nothing would happen. After a while, we cuddled and then we started kissing. He started that. I don't have to say what happened later. It's funny because until the moment before we touched each other I thought we were in the bed for sleeping only. I went to the bedroom really naively, thinking that nothing would happen. But I don't regret. Sex was more fabulous than with any of the guys met recently.
He said it would be cool if I stayed over the night with him. I couldn't because I was already invited for some party in my city. Then, I proposed him to go with me. Maybe I wouldn't have done it if I had known some a bit freaky facts about him. He showed me his mobile phone that he broke a few days before after a really tough conversation with his boyfriend. The other thing was the fact that he was a belly dancer. He also had some clothes for that. They were totally feminine. None of the weird facts was really creepy but they were just awkward. I had invited him before so there was no way back. We went there together. It was actually nice. He was a nice person, met my friends who liked him. When we came back home we slept together and had some sex.
On the way back from party I had one of the most funny and incredible stories ever. The cab driver was clearly hitting on me (he was cute and young). He was so full of sex! The cab stopped so that my friend could get something from the shop. Then I stayed in the cab only with the driver who turned around and gave me that wild look. My friend came back later and me and the driver had eye connection through the mirror. Then when we arrived I paid the guy and he kind of touched my hand when I was handing over the cash. And when I was getting off, he put his hand on my leg and sent me a kiss. That cab was just full of the sexual atmosphere. That was amazing.
My friends keep telling me that I must emit some kind of signals so that I meet all these guys all the time. I've started believing in that...
Life is a seductive movie!
Friday, April 18, 2008
impressions
We often have certain impressions. We express them "I think", "I guess", "In my opinion", "I have the feeling", "I have the impression".
The worst thing about them is that they are very subjective. We never know whether we are right or not. That's why the very good thing is when we receive an objective piece of information and we can verify our impressions...
Since last night, I've been officially single. I went out yesterday, got drunk a bit and then had the idea to call A. (my [technically still] boyfriend at that time). I told him it would be better if we became friends. He agreed and today he confirmed that in the email by saying that friendship would work unlike relationship. I felt relieved.
In the meantime, he said he had been angry at me and that was why he didn't call me. He was expecting me to call especially because he had some problems. He missed my support. At that point I had a totally opposite impression. From the conversation on the phone and on line we'd had before I was almost sure that he was not really willing to share his problems with me and he didn't want any of my support. That was why I got pissed off and decided not to call. And yesterday he told me that I hadn't cared at all...
Well, I have no regrets at the moment. The ultimate solution of this situation is good and I am happy about it.
And I am happy about another thing. About the fact that my impression was wrong. I have a lot of impressions and in love/relationship cases they are usually negative or pessimistic. What I heard yesterday just proves that my impressions might easily be wrong. So that's another lesson saying that I should be more careful when having certain impressions. I hope I will apply it successfully next time.
The worst thing about them is that they are very subjective. We never know whether we are right or not. That's why the very good thing is when we receive an objective piece of information and we can verify our impressions...
Since last night, I've been officially single. I went out yesterday, got drunk a bit and then had the idea to call A. (my [technically still] boyfriend at that time). I told him it would be better if we became friends. He agreed and today he confirmed that in the email by saying that friendship would work unlike relationship. I felt relieved.
In the meantime, he said he had been angry at me and that was why he didn't call me. He was expecting me to call especially because he had some problems. He missed my support. At that point I had a totally opposite impression. From the conversation on the phone and on line we'd had before I was almost sure that he was not really willing to share his problems with me and he didn't want any of my support. That was why I got pissed off and decided not to call. And yesterday he told me that I hadn't cared at all...
Well, I have no regrets at the moment. The ultimate solution of this situation is good and I am happy about it.
And I am happy about another thing. About the fact that my impression was wrong. I have a lot of impressions and in love/relationship cases they are usually negative or pessimistic. What I heard yesterday just proves that my impressions might easily be wrong. So that's another lesson saying that I should be more careful when having certain impressions. I hope I will apply it successfully next time.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Gotcha!
Some email spams are just hilarious. I’m already used to receiving penis enlargement or cheap Viagra pills propositions. I got some notifications about where the hot gals have their naked pics as well. By the way, they are really idiots – they should work on their market segmentation and targeting tactics. I don’t need either penis enlargement (I can’t complain about the size), or Viagra (I still can get it up easily) or pics of some chicks (wrong gender!).
But today, I found a really funny spam! They are really creative! The subject of the email was “we caught you naked [my first and last name here]! check the video!”
Of course, I didn’t want to check the video. I was at work so I couldn't let happen that someone enters the office and sees my naked videos on line :D
But today, I found a really funny spam! They are really creative! The subject of the email was “we caught you naked [my first and last name here]! check the video!”
Of course, I didn’t want to check the video. I was at work so I couldn't let happen that someone enters the office and sees my naked videos on line :D
sex is passé
Yesterday, I saw the guy that I had met at the party the other Saturday. We met in a cafe and afterwards went to have a dinner. We had a nice conversation. My friend told me earlier that I was full of sense of humor and good jokes when we spoke on MSN. And so was I during the dinner. It was nice. Once, we were done with the eating, he suggested going to his apartment. I agreed. I asked if by any chance he had some liquor over there. A glass of wine was something that I really needed. He said "I don't have any wine but I have gin and tonic". For someone who had recently become fan of this fabulous drink no invitations had to be repeated anymore...
So we went to his place. As soon as he entered we started kissing. He started and I didn't object. Then he prepared the drink. I didn't have time to enjoy it though. We ended up in bed. I even didn't finish my glass! Not that it was bad or something. It was cool but I guess after so many one night stands recently I was just filled with sex for a while and didn't need it at that time. I would rather enjoy sitting on the couch, drinking and having an interesting conversation. And we just went to bed. So boring. Yes, I'm saying that sex was boring.
I think I should start applying the rule saying that if you stop yourself from having sex that will be even more exciting than actually doing it. And that will also show me as less attainable and less needy. And as you remember that was my mistake last time. It's time to stop analyzing the past. It's time to draw conclusions and apply them.
"I just move on!"
So we went to his place. As soon as he entered we started kissing. He started and I didn't object. Then he prepared the drink. I didn't have time to enjoy it though. We ended up in bed. I even didn't finish my glass! Not that it was bad or something. It was cool but I guess after so many one night stands recently I was just filled with sex for a while and didn't need it at that time. I would rather enjoy sitting on the couch, drinking and having an interesting conversation. And we just went to bed. So boring. Yes, I'm saying that sex was boring.
I think I should start applying the rule saying that if you stop yourself from having sex that will be even more exciting than actually doing it. And that will also show me as less attainable and less needy. And as you remember that was my mistake last time. It's time to stop analyzing the past. It's time to draw conclusions and apply them.
"I just move on!"
long distance relationships
I had a nice conversation with my flat mate recently. She comes from Europe and has a boyfriend back in her country. They are facing some difficulties now. It's the first time they are so far away from each other.
What I noticed by asking questions was that probably, they are in different reality right now and they are experiencing the relationship in different conditions - it's the first time that the distance plays such an important role. Before they were happy being together. Now, they're less happy and more confused. Does it mean that something is wrong? Yes, of course! They are not a long distance relationship persons. They don't work well when distance is in between. But as soon as they're back everything will be sorted out.
What's the lesson for me?
I am not a long distance relationship person either! I thought I was but it's bullshit. First of all, I can't be in an LDR when it's just about that start. It simply won't work. After a while of being together (physically in one city) it might work out if the period is not too long. But I know I will not feel happy when I'm far. I just don't feel happy in such a relationship. So no point in being in a one.
I am moving to Western Europe in September. I will live in a culture that I understand better and where people are more similar. My "relationship" life is officially over here in Northern Africa. Just a place for random fun.
What I noticed by asking questions was that probably, they are in different reality right now and they are experiencing the relationship in different conditions - it's the first time that the distance plays such an important role. Before they were happy being together. Now, they're less happy and more confused. Does it mean that something is wrong? Yes, of course! They are not a long distance relationship persons. They don't work well when distance is in between. But as soon as they're back everything will be sorted out.
What's the lesson for me?
I am not a long distance relationship person either! I thought I was but it's bullshit. First of all, I can't be in an LDR when it's just about that start. It simply won't work. After a while of being together (physically in one city) it might work out if the period is not too long. But I know I will not feel happy when I'm far. I just don't feel happy in such a relationship. So no point in being in a one.
I am moving to Western Europe in September. I will live in a culture that I understand better and where people are more similar. My "relationship" life is officially over here in Northern Africa. Just a place for random fun.
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